everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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