The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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