I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
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all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
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Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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