Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
being pregnant is like rehab
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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