is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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