I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
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