If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
