Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
