meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
