I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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