I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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