the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
