I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
