I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
