I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
