I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Randomize
