All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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