Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
