Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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