She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
