I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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