Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
