im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
