It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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