Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize