dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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