I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
