Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
