Please, let me fuck your mom
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize