Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
