i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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