Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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