it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
too bad you live with your parents still
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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