so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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