just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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