I wanna bring you to show and tell
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
