Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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