physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
