ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
