I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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