omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
