she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
