We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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