her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
There's always time for handjobs
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
