i permit you to call me
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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