seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize