Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
