Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
