wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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