can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
