Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I would fuck him just for his dog
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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