Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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