Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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