Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
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