She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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