in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
