arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
