Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
