My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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