so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
