Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
