I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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