hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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