I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
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